areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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