Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
