I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
