I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
