I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
