The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's intense
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
