There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize