we have officially lost it.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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