it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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