I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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