If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god it's open bar.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
