Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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