I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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