How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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