I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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