woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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