Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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