i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize