I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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