Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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