well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
