I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
