You really coming over, don't trick.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
