His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
