But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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