I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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