chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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