Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
