did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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