Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
