I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize