dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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