the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Fuck appropriateness.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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