And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
