She said her name was "party"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
