Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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