By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
