Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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