My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
