if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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