Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
