You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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