im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
