I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
