Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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