You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
