You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
