Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize