you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
