What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
