I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Plan B is the new Plan A
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
