im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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