end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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