I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
