i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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