He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
