my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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