Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
